It is my goal to take boudoir out of…. the boudoir.

I don’t want to take the same portraits of all of my women. I want to explore themes and concepts to make a set of sexy, intimate portraits that truly represent them. Like a little sexy story.

Some of us have short hair. Some of us have tattoos. Stretch marks, different breast shapes. Tattoos and bare skin. Scars, and smooth. We are born with these features, while some of them are complimentry of our time on earth. Our versions of “sexy” and “beautiful” are all different. So why would I photograph any women in the same location? In the same light? Why would I tell the same story when all of us are such unique creatures.  That is the fun in the art of boudoir photography…

celebrating the unique beauty of every one of my subjects.


So you caught feelings on the wrong fishy in the sea, and they turned out to be pond scum. Possibly they just flat out ghosted you. Or maybe you got a call from a random woman claiming to be his girlfriend of the last two months? Or you just flat out realized they were a total loser and that you deserved better.

I’ve been there. I am there. This shit sucks.

As women, we have this lovely habit of taking all of the shame that comes from getting your heart horribly broken by someone.  If they were lying, clearly it’s your fault for being so dumb and not seeing through the act. If they were sleeping with someone else, we tell ourselves that if only we were more attractive they wouldn’t have wanted more. They left you for a brunette – clearly, I shouldn’t be dying my hair this glorious copper color because they like more natural.  And the list can go on and soon become a full essay.

It took a lot of self-love and reflection to finally understand one simple truth: It has nothing to do with us.

What people dislike about us stems from a deep insecurity within themselves. We are all so connected in our differences. If someone was to ever feel you are too “fat”, then it comes from their own insecurity about feeling “fat” themselves or their fear of it. If they think you are too bossy or independent, it comes from their fear that they won’t be good enough to keep you happy. Every time you are rejected, it comes from their own fear and insecurities.  It has nothing to do with your body, your character, or your worth.

Knowing this now, I ask you to indulge in some wonderful self-love for yourself to remind you that you are sexy. That you are beautiful. That you are a one of a kind creation on this incredible planet.

All of these things I list here are things that personally helped me to get over …. we shall call him…. “Nickelback” in record time. Nickelback recently broke my heart. Nickelback sucks.


1. Get your booty to the salon RIGHT AWAY.

This is the most popular and FIRST thing you do when you are suffering from a broken heart. Have you been wanting to cut your hair for awhile but your ex loved your long hair? Get done whatever you want. Treat yourself.  Personally everytime you see me change my shade of red you know that something is up. Ariel has always been my go-to girl to give me the girl power speeches that I need while she makes me feel like the most beautiful red-headed mermaid the land has ever seen.

2. Write down a list of every quality about yourself that you love.

Don’t worry about who will read it. Don’t be shy. I want every physical and internal trait you love about yourself. Written down on paper. Don’t apologize for being prideful of these things.  May I be so bold to share with some of the things on my list….

Beautiful hair
Forgiving and loving
Hourglass, feminine figure
Great in bed 😉
I create the best baked goods
Animal Lover
Super awesome nerd interests that I can talk about for hours
I am way too cool for someone that loves Nickelback

You get the point. The rest of the list is for me when I am feeling crappy. Just pull that list out and re-read it.

3. Think about the things that you used to do for fun just for yourself. Now go do them.

Something I like to do when my heart has taken a good beating is trying one of my old hobbies again. You know those hobbies that you used to love before LIFE got in the way and distracted you? For me there were so many things I used to do just for my own enjoyment. So I put down any work that has to do with pleasing other people and would create art that makes my heart full. Even if it’s just a silly drawing of a Disney character. It’s fun for me.

4. Call in the the Best buddies.

Your friends with positive attitudes will really help you. It’s their job as besties to throw tons of girl power at you and tell you how damn fabulous you are. Plan a weekend that has nothing to do with trying to find a rebound or getting attention from new potential mates. Sit in a hotel room with your babes, eat pizza, smoke a little smoke or drink a little drink together, eat more pizza, make bad jokes,  repeat. This way you are with people that love you and getting that connection you need in this time, without trying to simply distract yourself with a new fling. Your friends love you and will remind you of why you are freaking amazing. Listen to them. Trust them.

5. Go shopping for yourself and give 0 fucks about the price.

You know why price doesn’t matter? Because you would have totally spent whatever on something that your heartbreaker wanted. I spent about $500 total in concert tickets trying to surprise Nickelback. Nickleback would be told about these tickets, and now that I think about it would never even say Thank you So what did I do for myself? I bought myself front row Miranda Lambert tickets. I bought a sexy new outfit without paying attention to price tags. Way more satisfying than spending money on Nickelback. 

Love yourself the way you loved them. 


6. Take the time and effort to care about your body.

Putting good, quality, healthy food into your body for fuel will do amazing for your mood. Before you decide to eat three pizzas over a weekend (jk I totally did that too), consider going to the grocery store and picking up some fresh food to make great meals for yourself. The food we put into our bodies affects our mood. It’s proven. So after you are done with the pizza binge for a weekend, give your body some love.

I also dove back into working out. Not running on the treadmill for hours, but hiking. Yoga. Weight training. Taking my dogs on walks or playing with them at the park. Move your body because you love it.

Do kind things to your body and you will FEEL sexy.

7.  Get pretty photos of you taken.

Shameless plug. Book a fabulous boudoir session to reconnect with your confidence.  My shoot with Jennifer Skog made me feel more confident than I had in years.

by Jennifer Skog


Know someone that could use a pick me up?

Share this post with your friends or someone with a broken heart.

I can’t tell you how often I have a woman come to me saying they want to book their boudoir session but want to wait until they get to their “goal weight”.

So this is what made Samantha’s reasoning behind her boudoir session so refreshing. She wanted a session now when she had some extra weight on. She wanted to embrace her body as it is NOW before she went on a journey to lose the weight. How incredible. It made this whole session have that little something extra exciting to photograph.

Photoshop is great, but it shouldn’t be used to cover up a woman’s beauty.

I am quite open about the process that I do with my beauty retouching in photographs. It is to be used as a tool to get rid of things like blemishes, uneven tans, and injuries. It is my goal to make a woman see herself the way that the rest of the world sees her. Her real, true, beautiful self.  We all have texture to our skin. We all have rolls here and there. My goal is to get my women feeling sexy in front of the camera so that we may document her body in the most flattering way. There needs to be a level of trust between myself and my ladies on what to expect with editing. Samantha was still on board to celebrate her body with me.

SO incredibly grateful to have this about her experience with her body empowering amazing boudoir session.

“Heather is hands down a gift from the Gods & Goddesses.

I have always had a lot of self-love and confidence, have always embraced my body in any way it comes. So when the idea of taking Boudoir photos came about I thought “YES! This is going to be… oh… wait… I’ve gained weight… these rolls… oh crap what did I get myself into?!” However, from the moment I showed up, Heather made me feel comfortable and relaxed. Between her and her makeup/hair stylist, Ariel, I instantly felt like one of the girls. After getting my look together, I started to feel the anxiety shed away. Heather coached me into all the right angles, walked me through step by step how I should pose, all while keeping the images looking natural and not posed. I left that day, feeling reassured and my confidence was back up to 100. Once I started seeing the images it was a reminder that the confidence I feel daily, is not smoke and mirrors, it’s real! Her editing is

After getting my look together, I started to feel the anxiety shed away. Heather coached me into all the right angles, walked me through step by step how I should pose, all while keeping the images looking natural and not posed. I left that day, feeling reassured and my confidence was back up to 100. Once I started seeing the images it was a reminder that the confidence I feel daily, is not smoke and mirrors, it’s real! Her editing is

Once I started seeing the images it was a reminder that the confidence I feel daily, is not smoke and mirrors, it’s real! Her editing is a genius. She doesn’t hide the rolls, or do any crazy photoshop tricks to make you skinner, she embraces your body just as you should embrace your own body! These images are something I will always admire and although I am on a path to a smaller version me, these images will be there to remind me that no matter what shape or size I am, I am me, and I love myself regardless!”

For her outfits, I kept it simple. Samantha is a lot like me – I spend most of my time in t-shirts and boots. So she showed up with a few cute panties, a one piece, and some sexy Ariat cowboy boots. That’s all she really needed to capture her playful sexiness in camera.  Make-up was also kept a bit more natural by my babe Ariel to reflect Samantha’s natural makeup style.


Hips are bad. Tiny bodies good.

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I remember growing up the gentle brainwashing that was instilled in me from the time I started to turn into a young woman. I remember the TV and magazines I grew up with never having any women that looked like me. You see, I was 5’8″ already and my hips were already growing in by the time I was in the 5th grade. I felt the pressure of society even at a time in my life when I should have been focusing on learning multiplication basic writing skills. Women were supposed to be tiny and petite, which was already something that I saw myself as never being.

My mother telling me that certain outfits made my hips look really big. Saying how I should wear something that covered them up a bit.

Wide hips bad.
Tiny, thin hips good.
That’s what the world wants.

Now my mother isn’t a bad person at all. She didn’t want to hurt me. I do not blame her at all for the insecurity with my hips. I have always been the most beautiful girl in the world to my mother and I know it. In fact, I spent most of my life growing up her telling me “I wish I had been as beautiful as you are when I was growing up”.   I remember my mother looking in the mirror complaining about her own curvaceous hips. While everyone was complimenting my mother on how beautiful she was constantly nitpicking how big her hips looked in outfits. How her legs were big and she could never wear shorts. The lies the world was telling has sunk into my beautiful mother just like the rest of the women in our family. The world told my beautiful, stunning, strong mother that she wasn’t good enough and that infuriates me. 

The brainwashing had been going on for generations. 

I grew up so ashamed of my hips that I would wear men’s clothes as a blooming teenager to cover myself up. Dresses were not even an option as they might show my legs or hips. Baggy JNCO jeans and baggy t-shirts every day.  This was my daily outfit because the world had been selling this body hatred to my mother, my grandmother’s, my aunts, and all of my friends.  Hips are bad. 

The world was selling us all this garbage and we were buying it.

We were buying it and then sharing this garbage to others.

I realize now that none of us can afford that shit.

The hatred of my hips followed me into my young adult life. When I found myself intimate with boyfriends, I always tried to plan out in my head how I would keep some clothing on to cover up the shame that was my body.  Would this nighty cover up my hips so they didn’t notice?  Think they would notice if I turned the lights off so they just can imagine me with smaller hips? Instead of fully embracing the experience of young love and relationships, I was worried about what they thought about me. My relationships were about if they loved me, rather than if they were treating me well. Because… they clearly were a savior of a man if they were accepting of these hips and this body.

Each time someone told me that I was beautiful I figured that they were just trying to butter me up. Or they were in between girlfriends so that must be the only reason they would talk to a girl like me. I spent my time with them afraid they wouldn’t stick around because they (GASP) might figure out I have giant hips. Giant hips weren’t hot. They weren’t what men wanted to show off and they were what women judged.

I remember one day looking at myself and seeing something a bit different. It was a few years into starting my wedding photography business and truly focusing on myself. What was a flaw before I saw as more womanly. I saw this small waist and giant hips that were teased and commented on for years.  It wasn’t working for my happiness to keep looking at these as a flaw, so I figured I might as well use this “flaw” to my advantage. Better to wear them proudly than in shame for my own self.  Let’s let the freak flag fly, shall we? 

how to overcome your body hatred issues

My dresses went from nonexistent to form-fitting. My jeans hung on those hips and my tops showed everyone the dramatic waist to hip ratio.  I decided that I would make sure no one missed those damn hips. If I wore them loud and proud, I had no apologies to make. They made me unique. The noise in my head telling me they were bad was silenced.  If I had an opportunity to show off those hips, you bet your ass that I went for it. Rather than flirting shyly, I flirted with my eyes AND hips.

Then suddenly it changed. People actually began complimenting my hips. What was my weakness now became something that people celebrated about me. If I had a nickel for every time someone compliments my hair or hip-licious shape, I would have a whole lot of nickels. I spoke to people with more confidence, and my relationships started blossoming. I started getting pickier in the people I let myself be around because I realized I was a sexy, beautiful woman with a whole lot more inside. I had something to offer. I was worthy of people’s love.

It started with my hips and went into all of my insecurities.  Rather than photoshopping out any flaws in these images posted on the blog today, I decided to let them be seen.  Stretch marks? So what? Those showed up in the 4th grade from me growing a good 5 inches. No makeup? Oh well. This is what I was born with and I am pretty sure I get hit on more with no makeup than with it. The fact that I have way more junk in the trunk than boobs? Oh well, I can wear tight jeans and no bra with my tank tops.  When I started accepting and choosing to love these parts of myself, my relationships in life even blossomed further. Love is a choice, even when it comes to yourself.

So here is my challenge for you.

I am not saying it will be easy. But I am saying that the effect this challenge will have on your confidence will be astounding.

Take something of your body that the world says isn’t ideal. Turn it into one of your best assets. Something that makes you stand out to be the beautiful, individual human that you are. What are you ashamed of? How can we turn it from a negative to a positive?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. xo Love yourself, and each other. 


Ps- Momma, you have always been the most beautiful woman I have ever met 🙂

You know what I love? A babe that exudes confidence. 

A babe that knows she has a lot to offer. A babe that wants to be her true fabulous self in front of my camera.

Shaela was that confident woman for me. She was one of the winners of my Boudoir contest and I loved how excited she was for her big shoot.  She showed up with her awesome fiance to cheer her on. This shoot wasn’t a gift or a surprise. It was a complete gift for her. And I just LOVE that. I love when a woman isn’t afraid to be sexy for her. Isn’t afraid to do something kind just for the sake of her feeling good. 

Women are often shamed when they are confident.  They are shamed when they love to feel sexy.   I want to break that stigma.

Feeling sexy and worthy of love is something every person should feel. You need to feel it through your whole body. The freedom that comes from that feeling is something that I don’t even think I can really put into words.

When Shaela came in, my MUA/bestie,  Ariel and I  looked over her favorite photos of herself. We decided that we were going to rock that amazing, wild woman hair. I noticed in all of Shaela’s photos she didn’t wear much make-up, so Ariel and I decided that it was best to give her that natural, bohemian look. Let that natural beauty SHINE, Shaela!

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I just have to give a shout out to my girl, Ariel. She is my sidekick on these boudoir sessions and always knocks it out of the park for me. I absolutely love the hair and make-up she did on Shaela. She helps with styling, lighting, and even sometimes picks up a camera. She is also who keeps my hair that red that I love so much. Love you girl <3

Remember to follow me on IG for behind the scenes, daily inspiration, and kitten photos.  

Book your boudoir session today xo

  1. Kandace said:
    Dude, these are perfection! Love the feel of the entire shoot.
    September 14, 2017  10:40 pm
    • heather elizabeth said:
      Thank you so much!!!! <3 She rocked it!!
      September 15, 2017  2:34 am

Oh goodness, how I enjoy photographing a fellow red head.


Katrina is an actress and model in Los Angeles, as well runs a successful Youtube channel: Katrinaosity. When these were photographed, she was going through a lot of self-image issues due to health issues. She even admitted when she walked into the studio that morning that she really felt just plain awful about herself.  This woman is not only beautiful inside and out, but she is a freakin’ trooper. This girl has battled a tumor, health issue after health issue, was planning a wedding in Puerto Rico, all while working as a model and actress in the city.   She was feeling awful that day, yet still came in because she believed that this could make her feel better.

When I look at her photographs, I forget sometimes that she was feeling so off that day. Because she looked absolutely ravishing. Her confidence was glowing. Her smile magnetic. And her hair extra fabulous.

She had this to say about our session :

My experience with Heather was absolutely fantastic! She and her hair and makeup artist immediately made me feel at ease, and relaxed, and taken care of. It’s so rare with my busy lifestyle to genuinely feel like I’m being taken care of, and don’t have to worry about any details.

I did my boudoir session when I was planning my wedding, and it was one of the few things at the time that made me actually feel beautiful amidst the stress and business of all the planning. The photos were perfect to give to my husband as a beautiful, sexy, but still classy gift.
I was so pleased with how all the photos turned out, and they actually made me feel beautiful for the first time in a very long while. As someone who struggles a lot with self-confidence, and being hyper critical of myself, this is a huge achievement. I loved the wardrobe choices, the set and softness of the natural lighting, and how they all came together to make something that looks like me, but BETTER. Her editing is completely undetectable and doesn’t make you look like some airbrushed, plastic person that doesn’t look anything like you.
So happy that I could help you see that you are beautiful, Katrina. Even on your days that you don’t feel so much like it.
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Let’s talk about the importance of being selfish.

photo by: Rachael Ferris


We have been conditioned our whole lives how dirty of a word that “selfish” is.

Being selfish has always been frowned upon. If you choose selfishness over giving your energy to others, then you are a bad person. If you concern your needs above other people’s, you are a jerk. Selfish was a bad term. To seek things that make you happy just for the sake of you being happy, was something of shame rather than to be celebrated.

I am here to tell you that is complete bullshit.

This is something that I am so grateful that I figured out by the time I hit my thirties.  For most of my life, I felt like I was living on my tippy toes to please everyone. Which is all fine and dandy in balance? But there was no balance. It was them over me. Always.

I was working out to be thin to please others. 
I was dressing a certain way to fit into whatever crowd I was going to be around that night. 
I was shooting photographs in a way that I thought would be popular. 
I was giving up all of my art in efforts to socialize and make people like me. 
Dating as a way to see if I was lovable, even if I wasn’t even particularly into the guy. 
If a man I was dating wanted to see me, I felt like I had to drop everything to not hurt his feelings. 
I said “yes” to a lot out outings with friends that I really had no interest in and they were just guilting me. 
I didn’t protect my heart from destructive relationships because I wanted to help them. 

Does that sound familiar to any of you? I am sure it strikes a chord with someone out there.

At first, you don’t realize that this is going to have terrible effects on you. You think that all this good karma is just going to come back to you in waves.  You love making people feel good! You love being agreeable! You don’t need to do your daily moisturizer and reading at night! Because you know what your friends really want to talk to you about their boy troubles and you have to be there FOR EVERY FREAKING ONE.  Or you have no time for creating art anymore because you don’t want to get involved in something just in case your damn boyfriend calls.  Then one day you wake up and realize you are completely and utterly drained and even though you are doing these things for people…. you have nothing to show. Or those people don’t do the same things for you.  

Now you are bitter.

Now you are angry.

And you have dry skin.

When I got to this point I didn’t realize the cause. I was just angry. I started drinking heavily. Posting a ridiculous amount of selfies hoping to get SOMETHING back in my direction. Tell me I’m pretty and lovable, damn it. This feeling didn’t stop me from doing nice things for people and continuing to deplete myself. This just made me angry the second I did something kind. I would buy concert tickets for someone and be bitter before we showed up together that they didn’t even appreciate it. Anger filled up my being. How could I do so much for everyone else in my life but they just didn’t value me at all? Why are people so awful? Or why am I so awful? The thoughts gathered in my head.

There was so much anger in my heart it clouded everything. I accused people of terrible things. Threw insults at those I loved because I felt like they weren’t being as kind as I was to them. I assumed the worst.

I became controlling and terribly selfish.

It was a terrible life choice that I realized my self-hatred was consuming my soul. I was literally ruining my life because I didn’t give a crap about myself. I figured everyone in the world was terrible, or that I was unlovable. Either way, it made me angry. And this anger was fucking my life up in a way that I would need a novel to describe.  It involved a lot of alcohol, a lot of hissy fits, and lots of bruises.  While I now was aware of the mess that I was and wanted to be better, I had no way of stopping myself.

It’s one thing to say “ok I won’t act like that anymore”. But then it just sits there inside your heart still. You just covered up your fucked up cake with pretty icing.

This is when I learned that sometimes, just sometimes, I needed to be a little selfish.

At my rock bottom, I took a crazy leap and dedicated time every day to do something that will benefit no one else in the world but me.  Every day I started painting and drawing. Whatever came to mind that I wanted to create, I created. It doesn’t matter if it was a realistic oil painting or a ridiculous fan art of Jake the Dog. It was for me. I started reading again. Something that literally no one else can have any benefit from but myself.  Many of my books recommended journaling daily about my joys, which led to my daily journaling.

I put these times before my e-mails. Before answering phone calls from friends. I quit dating 100% because painting Catwoman seemed like a better use of my night. Something that included nothing but me.  Up to two hours a day, I would sometimes journal about my ideas and goals. Three hours a day playing guitar because it was just something I always wanted to do.

While I was still working on my business and keeping up with my friendships, there was actually time that didn’t revolve around them.

I noticed something changed. I stopped being so damn angry. 

There wasn’t really the need to control my social situations anymore. I started to appreciate my loved ones more. Thinking the best was my go-to rather than reacting to something I blew out of proportion. I could have a few drinks with friends and just get a buzz and not feel that drive to cover up the mess that was my soul. Mostly I started caring about people without the expectation of getting anything back.

I lost expectations because while I loved people, I didn’t need them to take care of me. I didn’t need them anymore to pamper me and make me feel like the most special girl in their whole world. That’s because I started to take care of me. I started to give a damn about the things that made me happy. I started saying NO if I was too tired. I started saying NO if I didn’t feel comfortable about a situation. I said NO to things that I knew would get in the way of my own plans. I worked on compromise more.  I stopped being so terrified of people’s intentions of using me. I stopped worrying if people were annoyed by me.

All of these things I was changing my behavior just because I was taking care of myself was growing my self-esteem.  I didn’t feel the need to post a ridiculous amount of selfies on the internet with no intention other than for someone to please for the love of God tell me that I am good enough. I started asking about people’s days more because I wasn’t being dragged down by the pressure to impress them with how awesome I am, which is what would take up most of my conversations.  I started giving my loved ones more space because I realized how great personal care time was. I started moisturizing nightly and using face masks. I started cooking delicious things for my body. Makeup didn’t seem as necessary because I literally started to think I was prettier.

All by being just a little bit selfish.

I loved myself more because I put energy into myself. Anything you put energy into, you value. When you value yourself more, you love yourself more. And loving yourself truly does change every aspect of your life. It changes the relationships with your family. Your friends. Your lovers. It changes how you take care of your body to live a happier, healthier life. It makes sex a lot better because you aren’t worried about every little damn thing when you should just be in the damn moment instead of thinking of your flaws.


It’s about balance.

Telling you that you should just become a selfish person isn’t my goal. But what I am trying to tell you is that you matter. That all the kindness that you are showing everyone else is such a great gift that you need to share with yourself as well. So that way when you decide who to give your energy to, it’s from a truly selfless place.  You deserve the love that you are giving to everyone else.

Trust me. Being selfish sometimes is how I became a better person for everyone that loves me.


Love yourselves and each other xo



It was a fun night out with girlfriends. Drinks were had. Fun was made. But she also wanted to hurry home to show off her special outfit under her dress. 

Life gets crazy with the kids. Jobs. House cleaning. She knew he loved and desired her even in her messy hair and sweats. But for tonight the kids were away with the sitter. She was feeling the drinks kick in as her taxi dropped her off. Finally, she would have him all to herself. Feeling sexy. Feeling glamorous. Feeling excited to have a night together where they just got to re-explore each other’s bodies. 

Couples boudoir is the most intimate thing I have ever photographed.

Love and passion is an incredible thing to watch. How two lovers interact with each other. Being a couples boudoir photographer is something that I don’t think I can describe in words. Being able to document these two lovers in this moment and the physical connection they have. The soft kisses. Carresses. Being a silent observer to this connection.

All of our connections are so unique to who our partner is. Each one of these sessions all tell such a unique story.

I am capturing the most sensitive moment between two people. And that, darlings, is an honor.

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“In a society profiting from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”


LADIES!!! Are you ready to unleash your inner bombshell? In celebration of my new website, I am giving away one FREE BOUDOIR SESSION to one lucky lady.  So what are the rules you ask?

1 : You MUST follow me on my Instagram @heatherelizabethboudoir 

2 : Post your sexy selfie! This is about what makes YOU feel sexy. Swimsuit, sexy lingerie, whatever! Boudoir is about self-love and empowerment. Post as little or as much as you want boldly and unapologetically. Then write in your post why you want a boudoir session and what it would do for you.

3 : Tag #REBELwomancontest

4 : Tag 3 ladies that you think would want to enter the contest on my IG post.

good luck, babes!